Valentine's Days (p59-61)

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1/29/05

He left - DAMN IT - SON OF A BITCH !!!
I told him what to do, he did it.
HE LEFT.
I'LL BE DAMNED !!!
I discovered a new rule: Power of ANOTHER pussy.................

Looking back, I cannot believe this was the date before the incredible Valentine Dinner date.



2/8/05

In 29 days, my world changes.
I am sad, but I will be glad.
I will see what I am made of.
I will become more confident.
I am so tired.
I am evolving again.

However, I broke my own new rule.
Unfamiliar territory
too open
too much
Where's the mystery ?

Where's my LION KING ?

Trust a must. Character

OK - Where's the fun here ?
What's the humor ?

Talking it through is a release.

Forgiving is different from forgetting..............








2/14/05

VALENTINE'S DAY !!!
Awesome at Peter's ! Dinner !!!

In the beginning, sometimes lying is necessary for the purpose of altruism.



Try to stay with the BIG PICTURE.

Today's date is so important to me.

Peter: My pussy
come and get me
like open/ closed garage door.

Goes with Peter:
I told him before I believed it.
Came to the REALIZATION that on some things,
he is smarter than I am.
and it was not the crumbs.
It was him figuring me out before I did.
Or me thinking he was figuring me out.
That's how it began to work.


Sunday 2/20/05
Bridge at Ken's - not enough

2/21/05
And exactly 8 days later what is the matter?
Not enough attention ?
What will be enough ?
THE DOG
DESPAIR

More KISSES.
What else?
I love Peter.


Is he at his capacity?
Accept it.
Must he be enthralled with me at all times ?




Monday 2/21/05
Dinner at Peter's. One kiss - not enough?

Do we understand that "it" WHATEVER "it" happens to be, IT'S NOT ENOUGH.
Are we ever satisfied.
Is "it" ever enough?

The point is - It is never enough.

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Part 1 The Beginning (p23)

The Problem With Women is
They Talk Too Much and
Don't Give out Enough
P U S S Y

My affair began with a 67 year old man. Not really old.
Peter was hung like a horse with a libido to match.

I didn't know that, of course, the first time
I spotted him at Yoga.


Innocent me.........


At the time we met, he was already very involved with a girlfriend I will refer to as Grandma. I saw her in Yoga once and I thought Grandma simply wasn't as fit and gorgeous as me. She had too short curly granny gray hair, a big stomach and wore flowery tops. Peter was fucking Grandma three nights a week.

Peter now claims I pursued him, which, of course, means I did.
I did in fact set my sights on him two years earlier.
I just wasn't really conscious of it.

Subconsciously, I had selected him. I did nothing about it.

Subconsciously, I seduced him.

I started watching him. Yoga, then bridge.
He had me at hello.



Peter had me for sure, when he yelled that his last name was spelled
"S-T-R-A-A-T"

If he hadn't yelled at me (those are my words for trying to brush me off), I wouldn't have AT ALL been interested in him.
What is it that makes us want the bad boys ?